by Liberated One
“…These and many other similar hadeeths from various sources prove beyond any doubt that the Islamic Shariah punishment for apostasy is execution. This is precisely the reason why I have to hide my apostasy for the rest of my life and I have to keep on pretending to be a Muslim among other Muslims. Trust me, it is not an easy task, especially since I am not a Muslim anymore and I do not agree with anything which Islam says. It was pretty difficult being a practicing Muslim for the last 35 years, but now it is even harder. Some of my well wishers here on my blog suggested that I speak to my family about my apostasy and take their advice, but little do they know that my parents love their religion, especially their ideal perfect human being, the prophet of Islam Mohammed, more than they love their own daughter. They would not even think twice before disowning me for life, that is, if they do not kill me first in a fit of rage, which is pretty likely, come to think of it. I say this because once a couple of years ago, when I was pretty much a Muslim, I was reading “Infidel” by Ayaan Hirsi Ali when my mother caught me reading it. She just read the introduction and got mad at me for even reading such a book. She said if any of my children did such a thing, I would kill her/him and then report myself to the police, I won’t mind even going to prison for such a crime because this is something which Allah and his prophet has ordered us to do. These were her very own words, so there is no way I can confide about my apostasy to anyone, especially my parents.
It means that I have two options… Either I should remain a closeted apostate for the rest of my life so that I don’t have to lose my loved ones, or I should just move to a western country and ask for asylum. It is probably the most difficult decision of my life, and so far I have not been able to come to any conclusion. The question that really baffles me is how anyone in their right senses could actually believe in Islam; it is the most illogical religion in the world. In fact, whenever I think of those 35 years I lived as a believing Muslim, I cannot but help feel anger, acute anger at Mohammed, the system, the society, and my family for making me follow something so sinister and evil, but most of all, I feel angry at myself for being such a fool. I mean, I always prided myself for being smart, educated, intelligent, intellectual and worldly, so how could I be so blind? I feel so angry sometimes that I actually contemplate suicide, because nothing in this world makes sense anymore. If the core of my belief was false, then is anything really true? I still get panic attacks and nightmares. I feel like crying all the time and I feel so alienated from my friends and family. The only solace in my otherwise meaningless existence is my blog, because I have so many friends and well wishers who love and support me in what I am doing. It helps me drag myself out of bed every morning. It really has given a new dimension to my life, and I just hope that it keeps on inspiring me in the future as well.
In my next blog, I will write about why Muslim men are so happy being Muslims, and how this religion caters to all their whims and fancies. It is totally a misogynistic doctrine which is a living nightmare for women. Till then, please keep on reading and commenting… Love you all… “